Socialites, Hollywood - please don't waste our politicians' time

I always think it's cute (read "pathetic") when Hollywood elites suddenly remember that there is a life outside of clubs, Cristal, and cocaine once they find themselves in legal trouble. Ah, how nice it must be to bask in the glow of millions of dollars, fame and fortune, and be able to ignore the world around you. Now, I am not saying that all of Hollywood ignores the political world; the Republican party sure didn't come up with the term "Hollywood elite" for nothing (it's called JEALOUSY, actually, bc we all know they accept every cent they can from Hollywood, they just don't get much, so they complain). But I find it hilarious that once the tabloids and their fans turn on them they suddenly demand the attention of those in REAL power.

Take Paris Hilton. The girl gets caught driving on a suspended license twice, once while drunk, and once going 70mph with her headlights off while it was dark. Paris Hilton claimed she had no idea her license was suspended, yet the police on the scene found a signed copy of her license suspension in the glove compartment of the car she was driving. I guess that means that she signed it, got in her car, put it in her glove compartment, and drove away from the station. Interesting, to say the least.

How does she respond? By claiming that "from now on, she will pay complete attention to things." Oh; well, that's good I guess. Thanks, Paris, because life is all about getting 100 chances to do the right thing. How, you ask, did her mother behave after the judgment was handed down to young Ms. Hilton? She called the entire affair a waste of time and taxpayer money, and asked the judge and prosecutor for their autographs. Nice. Because why should Paris Hilton be responsible for her actions? Readers, raise your hands at your keyboards if you even have a SLIGHT feeling that you would be served with the same or higher sentence for the same crimes as Paris.

::raises own hand::

OK, good. We understand one another. Now, as you probably know, Paris Hilton has filed an appeal. She has also started a petition on her myspace page (complete with spelling errors) to get herself out of jail (I should point out that a petition to keep her in jail for longer than her sentence is beating her own by a 2:1 margin). In my opinion, that is all fine and good. She wants to file an online petition? Great, anyone can, for any reason, at any time. What I have a problem with is the Hilton family demanding that Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger pardon Paris from serving the minute amount of time handed down to her for her egregious actions. How much more pathetic can you be? I hate to quote that psychopath Nancy Grace, but hey; you do the crime, you do the time. Sorry Paris; you are just going to have to try to make it in a minimum security prison and a private cell. Believe me, you'll be better off for it.

Now let's move on to Lindsey Blohan Lohan. Lindsey Lohan, the adorable little redhead from The Parent Trap and Mean Girls has capped off a "successful" stint in rehab by getting caught on camera doing loads of cocaine in a club bathroom. Now, of course, Lindsey claims that none of this is true, that the pictures are just not her, or that the white powder she is shoving up her nose isn't cocaine. Right. Why don't you check out the video and the pictures and you be the judge?

Now to be fair, Lindsey hasn't asked any politicians for help yet, this time. But as reported back in December of 2006, Lindsey is quick to demand the help of politicians when she...well, when she fucks up royally. And because it never gets old, I will repost some of her psychobabble.

Lindsay Lohan has asked former American Vice President Al Gore to help her clean up her image.

In an email written by the 20-year-old actress to friends and lawyers she states she is sick of her portrayal in the media and wants to hold a press conference to state her opinions on "how our society should be educated for the better of our country." The 'Mean Girls' star - whose rambling email is littered with spelling and grammatical errors - summons what she bizarrely calls the "way of the future-Howard Hughes" to help her "release a politically/morally correct, fully adequite [sic] letter to the press.

"I want to hold a press conference. And will do anything necessary to do so."

snip

According to the New York Post newspaper, Lindsay writes: "Al Gore will help me. He came up to me last night and said he would be very happy to have a conversation with me.

"If he is willing to help me, let's find out. Hilary [sic] Clinton, Bill Clinton, and Evan Metroplis [sic], and John Daur who works with them would be willing, if we just ask. If we just ASK."

Remember; Al Gore had nothing to do with Ms. Lohan, as well he shouldn't have.

Ladies, please; we who participate in and care about politics want nothing to do with this garbage (unless we are writing about it for fun, like me). Paris, you need to go to jail, and Lindsey...you clearly need a lot of help. So go work on that, and how about you let our politicians do what we pay them to do, what we VOTE THEM INTO OFFICE TO DO. I'm sure you have shopping trips to make anyway.

Just for fun, here is a picture of Lindsey flashing the peace sign (I am not sure she has any idea that there is a war going on) and another picture of Paris in a vote-or-die shirt, even though she was not registered to vote in the 2004 election.