Hi, honey. By the time you get this letter, I will be gone. I know that this may come as a shock, seeing as how I have been obsessed with you and everything you did for the past three months, but it's just that I feel at this point we have grown too far apart to move forward together. It's just been a draining few weeks, and if you have a minute or two, I have a lot I need to get off my chest.
George, if there is one thing you need to learn and you need to learn it fast, it is this; NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU. Jeez, enough already, ok? I get it, George, I GET IT. You keep trying to beat a dead horse (or ride a small pony) in order to fully explain to me how much I "know you", and don't you get it? I DO KNOW YOU. You've been such a huge attention whore for the entire summer, I can't help but know you. Always vying for attention, and demanding recognition for every little thing.
You're like the drunk girl at the party who laughs, cries, and flirts all at the same time while just on the verge of either throwing up or losing it. Or, more simply, like a toddler. So, back off, you're starting to really bug me. If I learn any more about you, I may just have to ask you to go ahead and move 10 yards away, because your own desperation for affection and support is starting to smell.
You spent an entire summer flaunting your character and personality in my face and I just don't care anymore. You have more than made your point. So, you like cowboy boots. I don't, but I don't really care what you wear. It's funny to laugh and point at your feet compared to Jim Webb's feet, but really, I don't care. Oh, and you're not really from Virginia. OK, me neither. I'm a liberal Northern New Jersey girl. You're California prep school guy. Surprising considering your little accent and all, but not a big deal.
You are a racist. I got that one loud and clear. Not only are you a racist, but you always HAVE BEEN a racist. So, yeah...got that. You can stop proving it to me. I mean, enough with the flags and the nooses and the CCC and the anger at anything non-white and Christia---oh, scratch that last one. Yep, I knew there was another elephant in the room somewhere...well considering you pushed the issue incessantly, the entire world knows you're Jewish at this point, so again, no time to dwell is needed.
Let's see, what else did I learn about you this summer? Oh! Your daughter is going to college, that's right; that's nice. Maybe on winter break she can meet up with Jimmy Webb and ask him how the war his dad predicted was a terrible strategic blunder before we even went in how he likes fighting it in Iraq. Oh, what's better, is maybe your son could get to know him, since I can only assume your son will be enlisting, right? I mean, you DO support the war, and you DO think we should stay there as long as it takes. So, it is only natural that your son will fight as well. Good, please thank him in advance for his service.
I also learned that you chew tobacco everywhere including the Senate floor, and that you have spit it on your supporters' shoes. I learned that you look goofy on camera and I have learned that you are a bully. I have learned that you have a mean streak, and I have learned that you threw meatballs at someone at her wedding years and years ago. I learned that you pretty much ruined your sister's life and I learned that your campiagn is filled with rabid and vapid shills without any thoughts of their own.
I've learned that the only reason the media isn't talking about how poorly you did in both debates one after another is because they're going after your bait, which is to act like the politician endorsed by the National Enquirer. It's an interesting political move, I have to admit, a very interesting choice; just not one I or anyone else would have made. So, yeah, I know you, I can't help but know you. I GET IT.
So, here's the deal, ok? I am going to have to move on without you and start talking issues. Because as for your shining personality, "warm heart", aw-shucks persona, and all of your little quirks and gaffes, I've learned everything I need to know. I mean, what other kind of information do you need once your Senator is proven to be a liar, a racist, a liar, a bigot, a liar, an idiot, a liar, a bad debater, a liar, a bad actor, a liar, a bad campaigner, a liar, a bad guest on news shows, a liar, and a fool?
I mean, if I were still saying "But I don't really know George" then I guess I would have to be living under a rock. And if I were saying "Well I know George and I really like him", well, then I must somehow be like you in some way. And I just am not in any way shape or form. So, like I said; I am going to have to move on without you.
So, thanks George. Thanks for the memories, and I guess the lessons. Thanks for the interesting foray into your personal life, I guess I appreciate it. You made the summer interesting, I'll give you that. And listen, kiddo, it's not you, it's me.
I'M the one who wants to commit to true leadership and speaking about the issues, not you. I'M the one demanding that I spend time with someone who can actually perfrom well in Congress, not you. I'M the one ready to fight for the country and restore dignity and class to our government, not you.
It's me. I'm sorry. You want to keep playing these games, and you can't really make any kind of committment to one answer, or one story, or one lie, or one racial slur, so I just think it's better that we take a long break.
Thanks again George. Thanks for listening, and hey; we can still be friends. You never know, you may really catch my eye again before November 7th, and you never know...I may pop by for a visit and a chat. But for now, you're on your own. Good luck.