Thursday, December 21, 2006

Fine, I'll play the game too.

I see all over the right-o-sphere, bloggers are tripping over each other to be the first to put up cutesy, anti-Democratic holiday poems. I guess after losing both houses all they can do is stand on the sidelines and weakly yell
"But....but, wait! But there is a war on Christmas! And....and...um, I have a ribbon! Yeah, it's on my car! Beat that, you crazies that actually want an exit strategy. I have a RIBBON."
Did anyone think the holidays would make them MORE sane? If so, you were fooled, big time.

So, in honor of them and their new tradition, here's a little piece I found on the internets. It's from 2005, so it is a bit outdated, but still full of snarky fun. Enjoy!
Twas the Night Before Christmas
By Keith Boykin

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the land
The war was proceeding exactly as (not) planned.
Republicans were plotting against liberals and gays
With threats that the left would take Christmas away.

Mr. Bush was drunk and over 2,000 were dead,
As visions of Baghdad still danced in his head.
And Condi in her kerchief, and George in his cap,
Had finally decided to pull out a map.

When in the next office they heard such a clatter,
They sprang from the desk to see what was a matter.
There Cheney appeared in an undisclosed location,
With a poll-tested soundbite -- "The war on creation."

On that little strategy, they all hastily agreeed
So they took a quick break and pulled out the TV.
When, what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But a new evil demon, a cowboy quite queer.

With Iraq and Miers and indictments and scandal
The dropping poll numbers were too much to handle,
This new little target could shift the blame,
As they recalled the disasters and said them by name!

"Now Katrina! now, FEMA! now, torture and leaks!
They would all disappear if we picked on the weak!
Get O'Reilly and Dobson to start a new brawl!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

But a strange thing had happened as they plotted this sneak
The White House had lost its big winning streak
Social Security "reform" had now been suspended
And the Patriot Act was barely extended.

The critics demanded an end to the lying
When the next thing they knew, they heard about spying
The Congress was starting to use the word "impeach"
So the president decided to give one last final speech

There was only one way to get out of this mess
The president knew he had to confess
There was one other person who had just left the town
And the president decided to call Michael Brown

If he handled a hurricane, he could handle this too
But when the story leaked out, the public was through
Bush flew to New York to exploit nine eleven
When there at the towers came a message from heaven

"Don't support your agenda by using my name
When things fall apart, they will know who to blame
I wiped out great Egypt and Greece and Rome
Now you will seek shelter in the old Superdome."


So the people chased Bush from the north to the south
When on his way out he opened his mouth
And I heard him exclaim, as he ran from the mob,
"Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job!"

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