Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Republicans: have you thanked a liberal today?

Without us, all you cherish would not be possible. You're welcome in advance, and have a happy holiday.
A Day in the Life of Joe Middle-Class Republican
By John Gray, Cincinnati, Ohio, July 2004

Joe gets up at 6:00 AM to prepare his morning coffee. He fills his pot full of good clean drinking water because some liberal fought for minimum water quality standards.

He takes his daily medication with his first swallow of coffee. His medications are safe to take because some liberal fought to insure their safety and that they would work as advertised.

All but $10.00 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance, that Joe now gets too.

He prepares his morning breakfast-bacon and eggs today. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

Joe takes his morning shower reaching for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with every ingredient and the amount of its contents because some liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how many chemicals itcontained.

Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is cleaner because some tree hugging liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air.

He walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work; it saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees. You see, some
liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day; he has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employeesto call the union. If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

It's noon time. Joe needs to make a Bank Deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the depression. Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae underwritten Mortgage and his below market federal student loan because some stupid liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his life-time.

Joe is home from work, he plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive to dad's; his car is among the safest in the world because some liberal fought for car safety standards.

He arrives at his boyhood home. He was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers Home Administration (FHA) because bankers didn't want to make rural loans.

The house didn't have electricity until some big government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification. (Those rural Republicans would still be sitting in the dark)

He is happy to see his dad, who is now retired. His dad lives on Social Security and his union pension because some liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

After his visit with dad he gets back in his car for the ride home.

He turns on a radio talk show. The host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. (He doesn't tell Joe that his beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day)

Joe agrees.

"We don't need those big government liberals ruining our lives; after all, I'm a self made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."
That's right, Republicans. Now get on your knees and start groveling; our thank you for your easy life is long overdue.

15 Comments:

Blogger Republitarian's Wife said...

Thank you, Phriendlyjaime! Now that you guys have fixed everything and we are safe from ourselves why don't you get out of the way and let us protect you from terrorists. :)

9:13 AM  
Blogger Phriendly Jaime said...

You're welcome! As long as you promise to protect us by dropping pudding cups and refusing to provide electricity for all of those "new schools" that are built.

Funny, every time they show a pic of a "new school" it looks like the same one...

But, you're great, seriously, and I love bantering with you.

9:19 AM  
Anonymous Melissa said...

Well, Jaime, under the fictional free market system that I spent all semester living in, all of that crap would in fact, be possible without liberals. I even proved to the satisfaction of the department that privatization is good for the environment in a perfectly free market and that we'd be better off that way (in 2,500 words, no less!). Drs Tabbarok and Klein have proved the same dealio with medicine.

But alas, the fictional perfectly free market does not really exist, and we have to deal with this pesky government over run with corrupt fools who don't know what they are doing and inevitably screw over the people. *sigh* I suppose that in the face of extreme incompetence, or inability of the free market to act as it should, a little liberal intervention is fine. :D Cute post.

10:25 AM  
Blogger Republitarian's Wife said...

Pudding cups?! Thats just great. Turn some peace loving dairy farmers into bomb manufacturers. Drink milk, it fights terror!

10:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Melissa.....

Do a little investigation of the state of the United States during the Industrial Revolution. Study what this country looked liked from 1880-1930.

That is what Laissez-faire capitalism looks like. Compare that to the look at the Untied States from 1950 for a peek at regulated capitalism.

I will leave it to you to determine which "United States" you want to live in. I will assume you will choose the latter, therefore, please do thank a liberal, a Democrat and the union movement. It is the holidays, after all!

By the way, You’re Welcome!

11:13 AM  
Blogger Mosquito said...

Negan (i.e. Republicarian’s Wife)

Why do “some” Republicans (is it the right wing variety?) stubbornly persist in the propaganda distortion technique. NONE of these liberals fought to “protect us from ourselves…” That’s exactly what the right wing agenda does….strives to restrict free choice (to save us from marrying someone we love but “aren’t” supposed to)prevents us from utilizing a great, safe pain remedy if we have the misfortune to come down with cancer….that “naughty” marijuana that you insist on making “illegal.” Oh yeah and heaven forbid if someone wants to choose to imbibe in an “illegal” drug…b/c the stringent right wing agenda must that save us from “ourselves” and inflict “their” moral standards on others. So my tax dollars are wasted to incarcerate recreational drug users and addicts…instead of saving tax payer’s dollars by providing the lower cost option….”rehab treatment for the addicts.” An alternative that does not include the prison training in how to become a “better criminal” and just might help that addict become a “productive” citizen…heaven forbid.

No, the liberals were simply trying to have some “rules” so corporate elitists couldn’t profit off the rest of us with lies and false advertisements….or inflict sweatshop conditions on us unless their were some regulations in place to prevent this….

Save me from myself?? Give me a break….No Liberal fights for that…That’s your un-named agenda…restrict me and my choice and let the corporations operate with no restrictions whatsover.

Try to think outside the box (or the fox) sometime… Buzz…Buzz…

1:33 PM  
Blogger Mosquito said...

Oh yeah and the "terrorist" line...Study history...It's an age old technique to "Whip" a country's people up into a "fear" frenzy so they will willingly go off to fight in a war that is not in their interests....Happened time and again in history...

In fact Herman Goebels said that was what they used so the Nazi's could get the German citizens to back them in a war....Fear....

And amazingly the fear technique works...just look at how many "poor" American citizens are off fighting in a war for the war profiteering interests of Bush, Cheney, and Haliburton..We get to foot the bill and they, their friends and cronies get to get richer....Check out Howard Zinn some day...

1:39 PM  
Blogger Republitarian's Wife said...

Good grief, Mosquito. Ever heard of this word? Facetious.

2:34 PM  
Blogger Republitarian's Wife said...

Oh yeah and my name begins with an "M".

2:49 PM  
Anonymous William Jackson said...

He better enjoy the farm while his father has it, because before too long he won't be able to afford it, and he can thank a liberal for the estate tax that cost him his family farm.

4:22 PM  
Blogger Andrew from Middlebrook said...

Oh yea, lets throw in the old "death tax" myth. You show me one farmer that was not able to pass down his farm and land because of the estate tax, and I'll show you....Paris Hilton.

The original blog entry was simply....brilliant.

4:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

William Jackson.....

I challange you to find a single solitary occurance where a family farm was lost due to inheritance taxes.

I will check back periodically to gauge your progress and your post of proof.

By the way, because O'Reilly or Hannity or Limbaugh says it, that is not proof.

4:48 PM  
Anonymous Melissa said...

Anonymous:

Check out the word "fictional." It means "not true." The fact that I pointed that out in paragraph two, sentence number one should have provided some context as well. You know, the part where I remarked that that perfect market that I studied doesn't exist in the real United States? Remember that? Try reading the entire comment again, and this time, look up the words you don't know the meanings to, instead of just making up a definition to suit your pre-determined idea of what I'm trying to say.

And the "Cute post :D" bit at the end should have given you a bit of a hint as to the tone of my comment.

Idiot. Hopefully, someone buys you a dictionary for a gift.

12:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Idiot. Hopefully, someone buys you a dictionary for a gift.

and a Merry Christmas to you.

8:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

On the unintentional comedy scale, this post rates an 8 1/2, along with several of the comments. Thanks for the belly laughs, hon'.

9:20 AM  

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